WARNING! If you are offended by crude subject matter, juvenile humor, scatological references, and sophomoric sexual innuendo, DO NOT read Woodrow Comics or this very stupid discography about this very absurd made-up punk rock band!
An Annotated Discography of the Woodrows Punk Band
To say that the Woodrows are prolific would be an absurd understatement. No one really knows for certain how many live albums, box sets, bootlegs, and 7-inch records they’ve released. That said, here are a few of their more memorable albums from the past forty-plus years. Order yourself a copy of the illustrated comics discography from RoosterCow Records. Woodrow Comics #1 is out now!
Run, Woodrow, Run!
(RoosterCow) 1980
Run, Woodrow, run! That’s good advice if you’re a Woodrow. This is the debut album from the world’s most notorious punk rock band. Before the fame and worldwide, whirlwind tours, it all started in a garage in Antigo, Wisconsin.
While early recordings would eventually be discovered, Run, Woodrow, Run, was long thought to be the first recording of this seminal band.
They don’t make ’em like this anymore and heaven help us if they did. Running time is only ten minutes but that’s more than enough time for 30 raunchy Woodrows gems.
This LP contains classic Woodrow tunes, like, “Piss Pants,” “Ricky’s Got a Boner,” “Naked Twister,” “Firecracker,” “Zonked Out!,” and “Bum Rap (Revisited),” and the all-time great ode to freedom, “Just Got Out of Jail and I Feel Like Gettin’ F’d Up” plus 23 more!
Shit or Get off the Pot!
(RoosterCow) 1980
That’s the Woodows’ way of saying “Put up or shut up,” which is exactly what our boys do on this 15-minute blast of pure punk rock energy. There’s no such thing as a sophomore slump when you’re talking about the most prolific punk band in the history of recorded music. This firecracker second offering in the Woodrows’ catalog features early Woodrow classics like “Weed Bag,” “Purple Nurple” and the blistering “Charlie Nutsack.”
The record also contains a first for the Frightening Four, a romantic ballad that’s guaranteed to bring a tear to the eye of even the crustiest of punks: “(Sorry, Baby) Too Stoned to Bone.”
Snake in the Grass
(RoosterCow) 1980
Trust me, you don’t wanna be hangin’ out in the Woodrows’ backyard! Snake in the Grass is twenty-five fantastic tunes by the Fearsome Foursome, including the awesome title track. Raunchy Woodrows classics like “Mowin’ Your Lawn, Trimmin’ Your Bush,” “Ho in the Garden,” and “Fetchin’ Wood,” will be sure to offend every one of your neighbors as if they lived next store to the boyz themselves.
Swim, Woodrow, Swim!
(RoosterCow) 1980
When you run out of dry land, you gotta swim, Woodrow, swim! This second installment in the Run series got Woodrows’ fans running to the record store for a copy of this classic full-length.
Contains sixteen explosive songs of desperation like “Backs to the Wall,” “Fight or Flee,” “Never Goin’ Down” and so many more. So many more.
Toby’s Got a Toothache
(RoosterCow) 1980
Toby’s got a toothache and man do it hurt! You ever get one of those really naaaasty toothaches? Imagine if you had teeth like that bucktooth muther-effer! Yowza!
Thirty-six killer tracks make this one of the most painful Woodrows’ records to date. Features the tracks, “Novacaine/Cocaine,” “Tooth on a String,” “Larry, the Tooth Fairy,” “Dental Damn!” and many, many more! Too many more!
Rock & Roll Jism
(RoosterCow) 1980
What a concept! What a conception! This is the first album to really get the PMRC fired up and ready for action. It would not be the last. This seminal recording features two all-time Woodrow Classics: “Rock ‘n’ Roll Jism” and “Under the Funky Hypnotic Love Table” plus 27 more! If you ain’t down with what the Scab Four are spewin’ on this record, you will never, ever be down with the Woodrows.
Beer Goggles
(RoosterCow) 1980
Sure, we’ve all worn ‘em, but they’re the Woodrows’ prescription! Thirteen tunes that make allowances for a few too many: “I Ain’t Afraid a Nuthin’,” “You Look Hot… Both of You,” “Six Pack Mama,” plus 12 or 13 more! If this album doesn’t offend you on some level, then you better have a good, long look in the mirror ‘cause you are not a good person.
What the F**K Did I Do Last Night?
(RoosterCow) 1980
I’ll bet you know that feeling, but nobody knows it better than The Woodrows. Seventeen confused and bewildered tracks that try to put the pieces back together. Features the tunes: “You Got My Pants, Man?” “Bed Wetter Blues,” “Wet Stain,” “Where the Hell Am I? What State Are We In?” and many, many more!
Ganja Stomp
(RoosterCow) 1980
Even The Woodrows need to kick back and “chil-ax” every once in a while. This classic album from 1980 (their 10th full-length record of that year!) features 15 songs that document the Woodrows’ brief infatuation with everything rasta and reggae. Tracks include: “Praise Almighty Jah,” “Jah is Awesome,” “I for an I,” “Rastafari Safari,” “Jah Know What I’m Sayin’? and ten more rockin’ reggae jams!!!
Tar Eater
(RoosterCow) 1980
Why does Marvy Woodrow like to eat tar so much? Better question, why does Marvy Woodrow like to eat so much tar? Who knows? Who cares? Let’s just hope he doesn’t stop. Recorded in just fifteen minutes, this is the tightest Woodrows’ record ever! This was the tenth record the Woody Four released in 1980 and it wouldn’t be their last.
Thirty-three tracks of blistering Woodrow Power. Songs include: “Dry As A Twig,” “Rock Head,” “Slick Ricky Woodrow” and twenty-seven more!
II
(RoosterCow) 1980
You’ll forget there never was a Woodrows I! The eleventh album of 1980 for our sorry heroes features no less than thirty-two songs! Anemic anthems for the ’80s Generation include: “Rat Face Ricky,” “Got My Ass Kicked Last Night,” “Soggy Socks” and twenty-nine more!!!
Woodrow Beach
(Woodrow Hill) 1981
New year, new album, new label. Woodrow Beach ain’t just off-limits in the off-season, IT’S CLOSED ALL YEAR! That’s OK, ’cause, trust us, you wouldn’t want to swim there anyway. Album features, “Drunk on the Beach,” “High on the Beach,” “Beach Blanket Bongs,” “Beached Whale,” “Sand in My Ass” and many, many more hits!
Beer, Bräts & Broads
(Woodrow Hill) 1981
That’s bräts as in brätwursts, FYI. The Woodrows’ second album of 1981 was the live LP, Beer, Bräts & Broads. This would be the first document of what would become a decades-long run of annual drunken sacrilege and bacchanalian misadventure. The Woodrows’ set ended in typical fashion with the band simultaneously passing out after a blistering, chaotic fifteen-minute set, but if the discerning Woodrows fan listens closely they can hear such Woodrow faves as, “Ricky’s Got a Boner”, “Weed Bag”, and “Piss Pants”. At least we think. Who knows?
Drunk
(Woodrow Hill) 1981
Quite possibly the best Woodrows record ever and punk rock has yet to fully recover! Features the all-time classics; “Drunk,” “Gettin’ Drunk,” “Been Drinkin’,” “Git Drinkin’!,” “Just Had to Get Drunk Last Night,” “I’d Rather Be Drunk Than Drinkin'” and many more!
Acid Days
(Woodrow Hill) 1981
The Woodrows discover acid and look out! These trippy, dippy hippies wasted no time in getting wasted and recording some of the best psychedelic music of ALL TIME! Songs include: “Give Me (a) Piece,” “Care for Some Free Love, Ma’am?” “Hit a Bong, Get it On,” “Gimmie a Tab (and I Don’t Mean a Diet Soda)” and twenty more!!!
All Hopped Up on Goofballs
(Woodrow Hill) 1981
As if the Woodrows aren’t goofy enough as it is! A.D.D. ain’t the half of it! Thirty-four hyper tunes to get you totally tweaked, including: “Tree,” “Road,” “Dirt,” “Toast,” “Knife,” “Tub,” “Kill” and 27 more!! If the Woodrows could maintain focus for more than 15 minutes at a time, we wouldn’t have classics like this!
Prom Night
(Woodrow Hill) 1981
No, The Woodrows didn’t get dates to the prom! What are you NUTS? But that doesn’t mean the fellas can’t get all gussied up for their big night. Killer tunes include: “Spiked Punch & Quaaludes,” “Hang (and Then Stab) the DJ,” “Chaperone This,” “May I Have This Dance, Bitch?” and eleven more!!!
Mamma Din’t Raise No Fool
(Woodrow Hill) 1981
Oh yes she did! In fact, she raised four of ’em, but we won’t hold that against her. Sixteen infantile tunes including: “Bread Samich,” “Big Boo Boo,” “Nubby Rub,” “No-No Fatty”!
Pumped
(Woodrow Hill) 1981
Ain’t nobody gonna give the Woodrows shit. Not anymore! After the boyz watched Conan the Barbarian twenty-eight times in a row they came down with a severe case of Schwarzenegger Fever. These former ninety-pound weaklings pump out ninety minutes of sweaty, rippling riffs: “Woodrow’s Gym,” “Let Me Pump You… Up,”, “Pummeled,” “I’m a Biceptual,” “I Ain’t No Dumbell, You Moron,”, “Tight Tush Toby,” “All Pumped Up,” “Twelve Pack Abs” and more. Great workout music!
Duality
(Woodrow Hill) 1981
Er, ah, um, this one is a little arty—even for ’80s new wave! But it is The Woodrows, after all, so you know it’s the bomb. A double LP concept record that explores the duality of man. Includes: “Whispers,” “Soul Bared,” “C’est Bon, Baby,” “Whispers II” and many more. Don’t worry, nobody else gets it either! SO ESOTERIC! You don’t want your cool friends to see this one in your record collection!
Naked
(Woodrow Hill) 1981
The follow-up to the Drunk LP. Twice the power, four times the fun! Thirty-seven songs including: “Naked,” “Tube Sock Toby,” “Marvy’s in the Jug Tank,” “Been Naked,” “Freak Patrol,” “Röt Güt,” “Buck Naked,” “Caught in the Raw” and more!!!
Crunch Time
(Woodrow Hill) 1981
When the Woodrows entered the studio to record their tenth full-length album of 1981, it really was crunch time — they hadn’t written a single song! You know how the Woodrows give a shit about quality, right? They don’t! Lucky for us they recorded forty-seven classic punk tunes anyway, including “Your Amp’s Not Plugged in, Erin”, “Is This Mic On?,” “Grab Me a Beer While You’re Up,” and the epic, “Do We Have Enough for an Album Yet?” All killer, ALL filler!
Beer, Bräts & Broads II
(Woodrow Hill) 1982
No one wanted another Beer, Bräts, and Broads bash — not even Woodrows fans — but the fearsome foursome were never ones to get enough of a bad thing. The second year of this would-be annual festival of testicles would indeed be the last, but not before the Woodrows would rip through a blistering five-minute set of classic tunes before simultaneously passing out onstage. Not a pretty sight by anyone’s standards!
Bread & Water
(Really Rad) 1982
The Woodrows’ third album of 1982 was not their best, not even close, but what do you expect, all twenty-seven tracks were recorded from the Langlade County Jail! There are a few diamonds in the rough, however, including the incendiary, “Someone Dropped A Dime,” “I Didn’t Know That’s What ‘Punk’ Meant,” “I’m Not A Punk,” “Hands Above the Sheets” and more! An arresting album to say the least!
Grab Ass: The Ballads
(RoosterCow) 1982
No one ever accused the Woodrows of being sensitive (at least not to their faces), but the lads do have a softer side. That’s evident as shit on this twenty-two-track album of classic Woodrow love tunes. Includes the touching “Won’t You Touch it One More Time?,” the soulful “Love Stick” and the heartbreaking stench of “Dutch Oven”. There won’t be a dry eye left in your head after you sit through this thirteen-minute tour de force. (That’s French, ya’ll!)
Woodrows Germs
(Woodrow Hill) 1981
You better cross your fingers nice and tight if you don’t want to contract Woodrow Germs, my friend. And you better make sure your shots are up to date ’cause the Woodrows’ sure ain’t. Features “Foaming at the Mouth”, “I Got the Stomach Flu for You”, “Puke City” and 29 more!!
All F’d Up
(Really Rad) 1982
When the Woodrows recorded this album it was not the first time they entered the studio “all f’d up” and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. Instead of writing a bunch of songs, The F’d Up Four decided to do one 30-minute drunken jam over two sides of an LP. It ain’t pretty and it ain’t listenable, but it’s definitely pure Woodrows!
Stoned
(Woodrow Hill) 1982
More of a spoken world album than actual music, this 45-minute LP captures the Woodrows live in their basement practice space as they try in vain to tune their instruments after pulling multiple bong hits. This one is strictly for Woodrows completists. Everyone else is going to feel real ripped off after spending good money on this half-baked gibberish.
Drunk Tank
(Woodrow Hill) 1982
The Woodrows certainly know what it’s like to spend time in the drunk tank. They practically live there. This 26-song LP captures all the drunken stupor of a night ill spent. Includes the tracks, “Don’t Piss on Me”, “Boglogna Samich”, “Puke Tie” and too many more!
Woodrowphenia
(Woodrow Hill) 1982
WoodrowMania is more like it. Nothing is more contagious — or more DANGEROUS! The Woodrows fearlessly went Mod for one entire week in 1982. Features “The Kids are F’d Up”, “Shave My Head,” “Fired & Fried”, “Banana Hammock”, “Crackers & Kool-Aid” and more. So many more.
The Woodrows Do Disney
(Woodrow Hill) 1982
Dang! You’re name better not be Mickey when the Woodrows come around. Or Minnie. Or Goofy. Or even Pluto for that matter. Otherwise, they might go to work on your skull and whistle while they do it. This classic LP includes the classic songs, “Uncle Screwdged”, “Little Bit O’ Minnie”, and “Gettin’ Goofy”. Huey, Duey, Luey, and Toby Woodrow with a baseball bat. Ouch!
Just Say Yesss
(Woodrow Hill) 1982
The Woodrows can’t say no, ’cause they’re too busy saying yesss. This record shows you what happens when Nancy Reagan’s “War on Drugs” backfires. “Drugs for a Better America”, “Coked”, “Get High on Reagan”, “This is Our Brain on Drugs” and more fried and sloppy tunes that advocate saying, Oh hell, yesss!
In Trouble Again
(Woodrow Hill) 1982
Not again! Good God, will the Woodrows ever learn? Let’s hope they don’t learn to make bad records, ’cause this is another bonfide Woodrows classic! Includes 23 rip-roaring tunes: “Scotchgaurd Afternoon”, “Got the Cat by the Tail and the Dog by the Balls” and “Hamster Toss”. Bad Woodrows! Very bad. Tsk, tsk.
Punk’s Not Dead
(It Was Just in Rehab)
(Woodrow Hill) 1982
They’re out of rehab and out of control! A definitive punk rock classic. Forget Zen Arcade, this is the only double album you’ll ever need! “Piss Whisky,” “Rehab Nurse,” “I Can’t Fight This Feeling,” “Nowhere Near Beer,” “Twelve Steps Away from a Drink” plus many, many more!
The Metal Years
(Metalli-Sized) 1983
The Woodrows were never a band to jump on a bandwagon and ride a trend right into the ground. Yeah, right! When thrash metal struck big, the Drab Four were right there with it. 1982-83 saw The Woodrows experimenting with punk’s inbred cousin, heavy metal. The result is some of their scariest material ever: “Metal Up Your Ass,” “Eddie’s Dead,” “666,” “Satan on Eleven,” “Head Bangin’ Mania,” “Embryo II,” “Embryo III,” “Röc All Knyte,” “For Whom Cliff Burton’s Bell Bottoms Toll,” more.
All F’d Up & Naked
(Really Rad) 1983
Description
Allegiance
(Really Rad) 1983
Pledge your allegiance to the Woodrows for which they stand. And what do the Woodrows stand for? That’s right! Absolutely nothing, but that’s not going to stop them from making records. Twenty-seven anthems of anarchy including “No Government!”, “Fuck Government” and “Don’t Need No (Government)”.